all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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