That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
