Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
