It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
