I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
