Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
