my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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