Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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