My friends, they love my intelligence
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
