Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
