Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
