2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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