i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
