You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
