also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
