Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
