3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
