he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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