i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
