you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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