so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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