I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
