Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize