I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
