She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize