i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
