He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
