I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize