You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
