you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I lost the right to judge tonight
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
