what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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