The maid of honor just puked.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
