just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
