Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
