All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
soo... how was my night?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
