My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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