Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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