Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
