eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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