I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
