I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
