your parents love me but you hate me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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