You just made me feel so damn special
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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