If that was your dad, he is hot
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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