Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
