We're facebook friends in real life
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
