Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
