I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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