You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
NoShamevember. You game?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
