We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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