she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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