If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
