the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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