white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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