I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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