well you can't waste a boner
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
