I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
