Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize