he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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