It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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