Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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