Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
