Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize