whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
