I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
how drunk are you?
Several
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
