Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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