This is not my ceiling
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize